Another Generic PROTOTYPE Fanfic
by Farcraii
Summary: This is rated T just for the lulz  NOT REALLY . This is another generic  PROTOTYPE  fanfic documenting the everyday life of the vicious, killing biomachine of destruction. Review well and I will be happy, don't and I will be happy without good reviews.
1. Chapter 1 Food

Another Generic [PROTOTYPE] Fanfic

**START**

_This fanfic is just about as similar as all other ones that contain humour, life problems and Alex Mercer's diet. I DO NOT OWN [PROTOTYPE] I just own a copy of the game of the story of Alex Mercer of Manhattan of USA of America of the entire world of the Solar System of the Orion-Cygnus arm of the Milky Way Galaxy of the Universe… so technically speaking, I own a part of the universe to myself (when you say it like that, it is way better than saying 'I have a video game'). LOL._

**Chapter 1. Food.**

A sore, soaking wet Mercer sits next to his sister who is watching a movie after just arriving home. She had set his brother an assignment that she hopes that he has completed. Alex should have bought dinner rather than grabbed it off the sidewalk. He then proceeds to plop a plate onto his sister's lap.

"Eat." Says Alex in his oh-so-gravelly voice. Dana takes one look at 'Chicken Heart Surprise' and almost retches.

"What in the world is this, Alex?" screams Dana hoping that the reply won't be 'Food.'

"I didn't have time to get real groceries." Dana was only slightly relieved.

"Not enough time? You had three hours and the shop's only a block away!" Alex still did not want to explain in fear of death by embarrassment. He sighed inwardly and prepared for a mega-monologue.

"I sprinted to the store, got a raw chicken and tried to find a cookbook, in my vain, I settled for the chicken seller's… remembered recipes. After arriving back to the safe house, I prepared the chicken, but since the seller's recipes were a little fuzzy, I kinda burned the entire animal and set fire to myself, my inner pyromaniac enjoyed the flames while the firefighting brain decided to dunk my head into our toilet bowl. After cracking my skull, a few years of a surgeon's degree patched up the hole before my own emo curled up into a ball and cried…" Dana listened intently after the pause; the epic was almost at an end. Alex concluded un-climatically with the words: "I had half an hour to plop the innards of the chicken on the plate and microwave it for 25 minutes..."

"Wow." Dana was amazed that not only had Alex coined up such a believable story, but how quickly he did it as well. "So what am I going to eat?"

_NOTHING! Lol hope you lieks. Mah very first fanfic! DUNDUUUUUUN! Plz review, do it and Alex won't eat you… omnomnomnomnomnom… he are a very hungreh viral manifestation of destruction. So anyways, seriously tell me how to invoke awesomeness into my story so I can change the title of this to 'NOT another generic [PROTOTYPE] fanfic'. No, really, give me TIPS! (And do NOT say to put yaoi or yuri into this… the definition of hentai scared me off anime and manga for a while)_

"I'll think of something to feed you that will not make you throw up..." Dana looked over from her movie.

"Seriously? Would you promise?" Alex shot back instantly.

"Would these eyes lie to you?" Alex put on a death glare of doom.

"Yes, they would… and they have… countless times." Dana held out her hand. "Do you promise to feed me something that won't end up in the toilet?" Alex grasps her hand and replies positively while the fingers behind his back are crossed.

_CLIFFHANGER! Lol, if this gets positive reviews, I will continue, if not, I will be forced to continue without positive reviews. Next time: Alex strives hard to find food for his sister, but with his overuse of effort and not much result, will he use his crossed fingers as a safety net? Or maybe use Blackwatch intelligence? Or even consult with his mother in-viral-strain and his half-brother, PARIAH? Find out next time! (Or don't, not everyone likes me.) So, yeah, get reviewing or else I will spontaneously bleed all over my keyboard. (This has happened… it is a bad sight… good thing you're on the OTHER side of my computer screen!)_

**END**


	2. Chapter 2 What Do Humans Eat?

**START**

_After wiping down dried blood off of my laptop, I stopped sulking and started to write again… now, Alex continues his odyssey (sort of) in search of human food. He uses disguises to ask his fellow Blackwatch associates. MOTHER has become a mother to the toddler, PARIAH and has no time to think of the Homo Sapiens as an inferior race. After repeating what I just said in the last chapter I will now try my best to not fail at writing stories. I make Portal references… I don't own Portal. Oh yeah, I still don't own [PROTOTYPE], but I do hope to work on [PROTOTYPE] 3 one day… one day._

**Chapter 2. What Do Humans Eat?**

"Alex! Show me BOTH your arms! Last time you made a promise, your fingers were crossed behind your back!" Alex remembered quite clearly, the siblings were eating dessert, Alex made a deal that in exchange for Dana's meal, he would let her choose the next movie on Friday night. It went badly… having Alex explain that he had his fingers crossed and it was Dana's own fault gave himself a good uppercut from his sister.

This time, Alex vowed to give his sister an edible meal before time runs out and Alex copping another hit from Dana. 'This time, I'm going for takeaway, Alex. You have 'til morning to get me breakfast.' He could perfectly remember his sisters words… sadly.

Now, Alex didn't know where to get his knowledge of food from, so he decided to go infiltrate a Blackwatch military base just to find out about what his co-workers had for breakfast this morning. One said: "There's nothin' like gruel to get the ole joints movin'." Alex had tried gruel once, he is sure that Dana would not like lumpy porridge stewed up by your favourite mass-murderer. Another Blackwatch officer told Alex that he didn't eat breakfast, instead he takes a pill. Alex knows that pills usually contain chemicals or drugs, touching the inside of a pill may turn his body into a pile of sludge just waiting for a crow to feast on it.

The last soldier told Alex to meet him at a hive in 15 minutes. The Mercer member knew that it probably was a trap and the man somehow knew that the base commander was in fact, a deadly virus. The man-thing who survived direct contact with a nuke went along knowing that he would probably live to see another day… unless he doesn't feed Dana.

The man-eater arrives at the designated, pulsating building. The red pustules covering the mass of the structure explode in a torrent of biological soup… which Dana would probably not even touch. Alex sees a dark shape being suspended by tendrils of flesh. "Hello, MOTHER… how have you been?" He could have guessed that after coughing up what Alex thought was just a lump of vile, mouldy, overpriced 'Mystery Meat' from Dana's cooking, was actually MOTHER who regenerated, transformed, deceived and was here to exact revenge.

"Alex, darling, don't be so cold. I am a mother after all. My murderous instincts have been replaced by my loving care for my Baby Pariah." Alex, who had prepared for a fight was dumbfounded, how can the woman he stares at which was at one point a giant slithering heart thing be a maternal type? How is this all possible? "I forgive you Alex, I WAS trying to… 'change' your sister and you did have no other choice. But today's the present; let's put all that behind us. Come, we have much to talk about."

This was the same room as the Specialist and Alex fought in, a massive, hollow den with birthing boils for cooking up new kinds of monstrosities… Dana would never eat those things. "Please, MOTHER-"

"Call me Mom." The statement was almost too cliché.

"Mom… please mom, I don't have much time, and I have to find something for Dana to eat…" Alex froze as Mom led him to the centrepiece of the massive space of blood filled walls and ceiling. "What's with the house?" in the middle of all the gore, there was a nice, little, generic cottage-like brick-and-mortar, a small wailing came from inside.

"I'm coming, Parry." Parry? Is that supposed to be a pet name for a certain MOTHER's son? Alex didn't know what to think, has MOTHER really changed from her old ways to care for her next of kin? It didn't matter; Dana needed to eat tomorrow morning. Alex tried pulling away, and MOTHER pulled tighter. "Come on, Alex. Wouldn't you want to meet little Parry? And know what humans usually eat so that you may feed your little sister and not die afterwards?" Just for this reason, he dully slouched into the white house.

_What is this? MOTHER being really nice? PARIAH becoming Parry? Dana capable of killing Alex? How did this happen? Easy, cause I said so and it's my story, :|. Hope this isn't too weird for any of you normal people out there… this means that there shouldn't be too much hate on this one. (Did you see that? I pulled a GLaDos joke!) Yeah, Portal 2 has rotted my mind quite a bit… If I ever type again, I could DIE! *types* Whoa, God! Oh I didn't die. (See what I did there? Wheatley much?) Well anyways, this chapter is gonna be long._

Alex watched as the little child sitting in the toddler, high-chair poked at red stuff on his dinner plate. "Don't worry, dear Al, it's just tomato paste." Alex asked over and over what humans ate. "Can't you see what my little baby is eating?" Tomato paste? Could this be the answer to Alex's problem? "Go on, try some." After hesitating for about half a minute, he prodded his finger into the gooey mixture and sucked on it…

The next day, Alex had a plate and the silver dome on top… upon lifting the dome, a smell of baby food filled Dana's nostrils… and so, very bright magenta lumps of tomato was found on the serving platter. Dana looked at the food, looked at a hopeful brother and stared at the food again. "Alex… do I look like a baby?"

"No… I mean… yes, your skin is like a baby's… which one's the right answer?" And to this, Dana kicked Alex out of the house… literally. With glass shards still stuck in his body and a pane in the tummy, Alex decided he would sleep in the gutters where there were other hoboes to compare to.

_ALL RIGHT! Now that that chapter's done, I am obliged to give you info on the next chapter! Next time: Alex needs a house and once again, asks around. Blackwatch offers a low class bunker and Mom offers a spare bedroom… for a price. Which will he choose? I HEREBY COMMAND YOU TO REVIEW! Or else Alex will start sharpening his claws on YOU!_

**END**


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